Sunday, October 17, 2010

don't throw stones if...............

You live in a glass house!

So yet again it's all my fault after 17 years of friendship, it's over. Some how it's my fault, which I'm so confused about all I know is that this "friend's" husband made some nasty comments to me and I defended myself and then this "friend" lied to me about it. When confronted about the lie it all blew up and no we are no longer friends it seems.

I guess my point about this post is that I will not allow people to continue to drag me down. I need to fix me and fix my relationship with my daughter and that is what I need to focus on. I can't keep worrying about what others think. I have to do whats right.

I fully agree with her though on the subject of Ashton, she is the most beautiful, kind and intelligent girl I know. That doesn't mean that she can be allowed to talk to me the way she has been, I will not allow her to disrespect me and that is something we are working on. I love my daughter and will fight for her just as I always have. No matter who thinks they know better.

Maybe instead of interfering in things that really aren't our problems us as people should worry about the things going on in our own lives and face the reality's in our own lives!!

Saturday, October 16, 2010


It has been a while since I posted because I really didn't know what to say, Well I think things are taking a turn for the better at least for now. Ashton has been coming over a few days a week after school. It has been going okay we have pretty much called a truce and are trying to get things back on track. Hopefully this keeps up. However a few weeks ago things weren't so great and I had to put my foot down, this in turn didn't go over well with her and in turn with some people who I'm still trying to figure out how this became their problem. Long story short I was verbally attacked by a good friends husband then I was lied to by the good friend I was told she didn't know what was being said in the email to me. Turns out she did know what was being said, and she still allowed it to happen. Needless to say I am VERY hurt by the whole thing. I spent the rest of that week dwelling on what was said and what I was called. I care ALOT about what people think about me. I have to work on this.

I also figure I need help so i am now seeing a counselor and a phychatrist, I have double my anti depressants and am taking a sleeping pill. Hopefully with all these things working together I will be able to get things back on track. I want my life back, I want to be happy again. Most of all I want to be here to see my kids grow up and grow old with my husband!!

Friday, October 1, 2010


I'm done I can't do this any longer, I don't know whats happening I can't handle this I'm done and I'm sorry. So sorry.