alone

I always feel so alone, maybe it's mostly my part but I really am alone. I really have no friends again part of this is my fault, I have not called people or not gone out with people. But then there have been times that I have tried and was rejected. How many times does one try before they give up?? I really feel alone. I have lost my closest friend of 15 years over a battle of who's the better Mom. I have no friends in the city because I have been away for 10 years and all the friends I had in Selkirk are there, and I feel like I've let those friendships slide, heck most of them don't talk to me anymore. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I know that alot of this is my fault, however I did spend a whole year working overnights and while I did that I almost felt like I didn't have a weekend.....my time was always spent trying to sleep or trying to catch up on sleep. Now that I work days I suddenly have no one. Not only that but my husband works evenings most of the time so i don't have a car to get around. Sure I could drop him off but do I really want to get all the kids up at 3 am to pick their dad up at work? I wish I still had my Gracie she was always there, but even that is gone.

Now the real question is how do I make/re build friendships??

I'm at a loss......all I know is I'm REALLY lonely, I don't even feel like I have someone I could call to chat with!!