Wednesday, September 30, 2009

this house

This house is filled with evil and hatred, today we recieved our notice to vacate. we will!!! our notice to vacate is because we refuse to put the utilites as direct withdrwal, as per her house rules!!!! Here's the reason we dont want to do it she finds out EVERYTHING, she called hydro and recieved all of our account info!!! she called both my place of employment and my hubby's place of employment trying to get info about us.
I feel like we are suffacating in this house, we are all yelling at each other, there is mega tension here!! The sooner we are out the better!!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

self worth

I am proablly the worst role model for self worth ever!!
Proablly because of one of my life expericences and partly because most times I don't feel I'm worth the effort, I seem to always have. Problem or some conflict going on and rather then always be a bother I try to hide. Infact last summer when we found out about the kids I went into hiding, I just don't know how to deal with these things.
So this week, my new landlady called child protective services, now we are a family of 7, both parents noe work pretty much full time daddy bear works during the day and I work evenings so one of us is always with the children. On top of that my place of employment is doing a fundraiser for the children's hospital where my children go every 6 months( and in between) so I am VERY involved with this. So our house is Never the cleanest house on the block, but we do our best!! Anyhow CFS came to check out our home, which totally blew me out of the water, I DO NOT think I'm the worlds best MOM, but I do know that I would do ANYTHING for these cildren!!! And I mean ANYTHING!!! So anyhow the complaint was that our home was flithy, the children were flithy and the children were no being fed! When they came in baby bear was sitting on the sofa eating breakfast and watching tree house. Anyhow after a quick walk through and a check for food, a friendly chat at the back door they were on their way. I have nothing to hide, I LOVE MY BABIES!!!
This is when I learned something VERY important, my friends do care, I was quite shook up by the whole experince so I post a facebook status saying they had been there and left the house, when I returned a half hour later one of my close friends was sitting in my driveway waiting for me!! She stayed all day, she did my dishes (even though she HATES dishes), she fed the boys and most of all she hugged me when I cried!!! Thankyou so much that is what I needed.
Later that night another girlfriend stopped by with, muffins, chocolate chip cookies and chocolate almonds.everything a girl needs to "feel" better, not only did my girlfriends come, my sister in law came out with my nephew, my sister came after work and my parents!! I really needed all of you so thankyou very much, I have always tried to just deal with it because I don't want to bother people. It was good to know that they really do care. So maybe I am worth the trouble.......maybe.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

being sick

I have not been feeling well for 2 weeks now, in fact on Saturday night I had such a hard time breathing I actually woke the hubby!! That's a feat in it's self!! he wanted me to go to the emergency room, which I of course would not do!! we had a family gathering on Sunday and i could only look at the new baby nephew from a distance!! a few days ago I was feeling better, but today not so much!!! I wish this would go away!!

I also received a phone call from big sister bears school< seems they may make her move change schools, I certainly hope not, cause that is so not fair, i guess we will wait and see!!!

I'm just really feeling tired today thank goodness there are leftovers, so thats what dinner will be!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009


I always seem to blog at night after everyone has gone to bed!! It is late now but the house is quiet, my baby bears are sleeping.
School has started and this year baby bear did not want to go, maybe it was the school bus that he wanted to ride not so much the whole school thing! Anyway we have transfered lil sister bear and big brother bear, big sister bear gets driven every day because she's going to grade 9 and I didn't want her to have to change this year and again next year!!
It was hard to send lil sister bear and big brother bear to new schools, all I have ever wanted was happy healthy children, changing schools is a hard thing to do big brother bear is in grade 4 so it's a big change, I thought lil sister bear would have a bigger proablem with the change but she just went with it!! Big brother bear is the one I'm worried about, I hope he figures out his place in the classroom, without going back to the disruptive behavior we were having at the old school. All in all I have really good kids, they are not angels by any means but they are good!! I'm a very lucky Mommy!!
With that said I hope we can look back at this is a year and see the good changes that have come about living in town!!
It's nice to be able to walk palces, it was nice to walk to school today and pick up my babies from school!
Maybe I can bike/walk off some of my extra weight!!!
A girl can dream right??? ;-)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


people The move is almost done, there is just a few last minute clean up to do. There is a trailer with junk on it,there is an old washing machine, a BBQ and a fridge and some eves other then that it is pretty much done. We talked to the "new" tenants (who have not finished paying for the trailer yet) telling them we would be by proablly friday to finish the clean up. The on monday we get a call from the old landlord, yelling about the clean up, calmly we explain we have already talked to the new "tenant" and we will get it done. This seems okay with the landlord yesterday, today he calls daddy bear at work no less, and says I called the renters board and here's what they said.Well daddy bear calls me and tells me what happened, I tell him you call the renters board and find out all sorts of stuff, you see we were simply doing whatever he wanted because we didn't want firction, so we just did it. Turns out or rent increases against the law, increases can only be 2 and a half percent, we paid 100 and 50 dollar increases randomly, when ever the mood strikesn we get an increase. The yard will be cleaned up this weekend and then I NEVER want anything to do with that trailer or that lot EVER again!!!One more note in ten years we have paid him 15,000 dollars in rent (we paid 15,000 for the trailer) durning this time my children didnot do swimming lessons, did not go to bible camp, did not do do all the extras that kids should do, because we couldn't afford it. His kids did everything, fair?? Maybe not but don't be pulling dumb stuff now. I think he's just mad that we acutally left and he now has to start tricking someone else all over. People only allow you to see what they want you to see, this man deffiantly has two sides!!Anyhow on a better note, I enrolled the kids in school today, they start tomorrow, we met the principal, we had a tour of the school. I think they will do well, big brother bear was a little upset about making friends, we had a tlk about how this is a new start for him, all the things he did at the old school and the trouble ne got into, it didn't happen here. So the ball is back in his court and its up to him as to how they will see him and how he behaves.Lil sister bear seems to be putting on a berave face today let's see what happens at bed time?? That is when she usally let's out how she really feels!!! Here's to fresh starts!!