alone

I always feel so alone, maybe it's mostly my part but I really am alone. I really have no friends again part of this is my fault, I have not called people or not gone out with people. But then there have been times that I have tried and was rejected. How many times does one try before they give up?? I really feel alone. I have lost my closest friend of 15 years over a battle of who's the better Mom. I have no friends in the city because I have been away for 10 years and all the friends I had in Selkirk are there, and I feel like I've let those friendships slide, heck most of them don't talk to me anymore. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I know that alot of this is my fault, however I did spend a whole year working overnights and while I did that I almost felt like I didn't have a weekend.....my time was always spent trying to sleep or trying to catch up on sleep. Now that I work days I suddenly have no one. Not only that but my husband works evenings most of the time so i don't have a car to get around. Sure I could drop him off but do I really want to get all the kids up at 3 am to pick their dad up at work? I wish I still had my Gracie she was always there, but even that is gone.

Now the real question is how do I make/re build friendships??

I'm at a loss......all I know is I'm REALLY lonely, I don't even feel like I have someone I could call to chat with!!

betrayal

why is it that just when things seem to be going well, someone has to turn things around and cause trouble?? In this case it is someone who used to be a friend. It hurts because she seems to think it's okay to involve my daughter in EVERYTHING. The first thing she does is run to Ashton and say did you know your mom said this?? what does it concern Ashton?? I want her to stay away from my daughter she says I'm a bad Mom because I don't want my daughter to be around drugs. I wish people would take a look at their own lives before making comments about other people. Take a look at your own kids before you judge!! You do not know everything they are doing you just don't!!!

Things have been going well until today when this said "friend" again involved my daughter in something that has nothing to do with her. I want this person to stay away from Ashton, she really doesn't know whats going on and she thinks she knows best. she doesn't. So just stay away from her. instead she has decided to be "friends" with Ashton's Dad ( she knows everything that happened between Ashton's dad and myself) This to me is the ultimate betrayal. Not to mention the whole thing with her husband when he called me names and I had to apologize but some how he never has!!!

It just isn't fair things were going along nicely!!

I just want her to stay out of my business with my daughter!!!

let the yelling commence

so yesterday after school, J'naya and Tony come bursting into the house and J'naya is crying and Tony is scared. The first thing the say is Emma's (name has been changed) Mom is gonna come over and tell on us. Shortly there after there's a banging sound like the cops have arrived, sfter a short discussion it is decided that I should go to the door. I open the door and sure enough there stands Emma's Mom shaking with anger. Emma had been giving J'naya a hard time all day, in fact she had even claimed that J'naya had hurt her to a teacher to which J'naya got in trouble. (Now I am not one of those Moms that thinks my kids NEVER do anything wrong my kids are not angels however it takes 2 to tango) So Tony stepped up to defend his little sister in the process one of Tony's friends (who's father just doesn't care and couldn't be bothered to do anything with his kids) opens his mouth and starts yelling at Emma's Mom. Now Emma's Mom is standing at my door claiming that Tony was swearing st her, I explain that yes I am aware of the fact that Tony and this said kid get themselves into trouble and am trying to "fix" this problem, and I will deal with my children then I suggest that instead of banging on my door yelling she to should deal with her child as her child is not the only child hurt here. She then storms off in a huff saying her boyfriend will be back to deal with this. Deal with what they are 8 years old, they are girls, it's gonna happen they will figure it out, I'm not gonna tell J she has to walk with Emma all the time, or that Emma can be her only friend!!! Emma's Mom then goes home and calls the school to tell on Tony, here's what she doesn't tell them, the fact that she in the past she has called Tony an a**hole and flipped him the bird, we had a talk with Tony about it and told him to avoid her. She also doesn't realize that Ashton is walking right behind them and has witnessed what has just happened and Tony DID NOT SWEAR OR YELL AT HER!!!

So an 8 year old girls argument has turned into all out war, Not 3 hours latter the boyfriend comes over, Emma is an angel and did nothing wrong and my children horrible and at fault for everything. What ever I deal with my kids you deal with yours. To solve this problem we get bike locks and the kids ride their bikes to school together. Then call the school and explain our side of the story cause really kids will argue and it will get worse.

Here's the catch today they are friends again! Really they will figure it out there doesn't need to be parental involvement in everything they have to figure things out and the whole my child in innocent and yours isn't is ridiculous they were all guilty in their own way!!!