before you judge me...

Before you judge me walk a mile in my shoes..........
     ..............imagine not wanting to get out of bed EVER...
     ..............imagine thinking of all the ways you could die,
     ..............imagine wondering what it would be like to drive your car off of the next bridge you cross.
     ..............imagine your child screaming hate at you all the time, and lying to everyone about you.
     ..............now imagine your family believing those lies.
     ..............imagine having no friends, no one to pick up the phone and call.
     ..............imagine thinking your family loves you.
     ..............now imagine you find out they are all talking about you behind your back.
     ..............imagine how much that all hurts.
     ..............imagine having to take medicine to fell normal, and still not feeling "normal"
     ..............just imagine...

it's so sad.....

This week some mad man went into an American school and shot 20 children and 6 teachers. He had killed his mother  (who was a teacher) before going to the school and when he was done he turned the gun on himself. The sad part is that it is the week before Christmas and 28 families have lost loves ones. This week I hug my children closer, I also realize that my daughter is missing. How do I fix this. what would I do if something horrible happened. My heart breaks because I cannot fix this. I have been removed from her school as a contact, my number has been blocked from her phone. As I tried to finish my Christmas shopping today , I ended in a sobbing mess. I no longer know my own child. I don't know what she wants. Worst of all I don't know how to fix this. So I sit and cry and pray for a miracle...........

Please God I need a miracle..........