Tuesday, March 30, 2010

ughhh Life

It has been a while since I blogged, well things are still humming along, the kids are "healthy" but there has been a minor glitch there has been talk of having tubes put into the kidneys to feed water into the kidneys all the time (though it sounds like this would mainly be at night) I just don't know how to get them to drink more, I try alot of ways to "trick" fluids into them, I.e. offering chocolate milk (which is a high oxalate and a no no) if they follow it with water, giving them frozen yogurt pops, freezies (you lots of sugar but it works) soups. It is REALLY hard to get them to drink two litters of water everyday. The meds to are a hard thing to stay on top of, J'naya is so against her meds she will hide them so she won't have to take them I have to stand over her so she'll take them. She just doesn't get that she could face a transplant if she doesn't take them or worse she could go into renal failure ar even die. How do you explain that without scaring her?? I just find this whole thing VERY hard. There are also things that they are not to eat like chocolate and strawberries kids love these things and mine aren't allowed to have them.

Those are just the things about the kids that have been hard there is also my job, it seems that no matter what I do it is not enough, I'm not doing enough and the people around me are doing to much?? How is this possible I can handle a restaurant full of people I have to take care of and do all my dishes by myself up I can't work an overnight shift in a fast food restaurant? i just don't get it and have NEVER been this stressed over a job before. In fact I dread going to work I just never know what it will be like today!!!
I wish I could go there do my job (and be aware of what is expected before the end of my shift) and go home and not worry about it!!

The other thing is having moved into the city from a nother city has been hard although I`m closer to family I really feel alone, my friends don`t live here and I really don`t have friends in the city, most of this is my fault I don`t call and I should, but working over nights is hard and sleep is not always available.
I have to sleep when Jeff is home or the kids are sleeping so a `normal`sleep day for me is from 7:30am to 1:00 pm then up with the kids until they go to bed and sometimes I snooze on the sofa form 9:00pm to 10:30 pm when I have to get ready for work. That however will change next month when Jeff works 1pm to 9pm. I`m not sure when I will sleep then I will probably sleep from 7:30 am to 12:00pm hopefully I can function on that then there are the days that I can`t sleep last week I think I slept a total of 20 hours all week. Sleep is not something I get alot of. Then when people phone I get complaints that all I ever do is sleep I wish!!!

On the upside the children got a dog she`s a miniature dachshund she`s 11 months old and her name is Gracie she`s a doll, her family could no longer care for her and they contacted me on kijiji.com from an add I placed months ago and had forgotten about. It`s about time something good has happened for my kids the deserve good things to!!!

1 comment:

ter@waaoms said...

You have me! I know I'm across town but we can still get together once in a while. I'm sorry things are sucky. I totally understand! I hope things improve soon. are you in the process of looking for another job? You should consider being a demonstrator! Join my team! It'd be fun. Email me. We'll talk about it!