the long month

So the month is almost over and what a long month it's been, A quick update an things happening around here. I walked off my job at 1 am one night, determined not to go back. I did go back, here's why I left, I feel like my manager bullies me. It's not that I don't want to work "under" her it's just that she seems to think it's okay for her to make us do things that she doesn't want to do. Or get upset at us for things that aren't really things to be mad about. That night I had, had enough!!! An example of what's been happening, one night she lost her keys, so none of us were allowed to have the other set that was floating around, here's the problem with that the fridge and freezer are locked, I needed to get breakfast ready, everything is in the fridge and freezer. Breakfast was late because she wouldn't give us keys. Guess where the keys were.......you in her pocket. Or the night that someone puked in the sink in the bathroom, the person who was supposed to clean it up has a weak stomach so I did it for him (no weak stomach here) I got in trouble. It seems once every week or two I go home crying and I hate it!!! It's just simple things but it's ALL the time, in fact there is a blow up there just under the surface, I narrowly avoided a blow up this am. It's bound to happen again. I did go back for two reasons one because I need to work, two because they called me and I was able to talk to someone so we will see what will happen.

An update on CFS, it seems it was a welfare check on Ashton, she had been VERY sick that week and missed the whole week of school, so they wanted to make sure that all was well. However the dining room was a HUGE mess, we had water in the basement and EVERYTHING had to be washed and dried and brought upstairs, that has since been fixed, it seems that's how it ALWAYS happens. Anyhow they could see that Ashton was okay meaning we hadn't beaten her and were now trying to let her heal, was really was sick, in fact we had taken her to the doctor and the E.R. She ended up on a prescription cough syrup to help her clear everything up, and she is finally feeling 100 percent again. It took almost 2 weeks, I think alot of this was stress. You see her friend just found out she pregnant at 15. Ashton was the person she turned to so Ashton kept her secret. I just don't know how that is gonna work out, she's only 15 and her boyfriend is 20, it all seems so crazy. However I have used this a a perfect opportunity to have the "talk" again with Ashton. I was a teen Mom and I worry ( I was 17, I couldn't imagine doing it at 15)

The other thing happening this month is Mackenzie's birthday just 6 more days and it to will be over and the stress around here will elevate for another year. I don't know how to explain the feeling theres a pit in my stomach and it grows over the month until his birthday and then all is better again.

Today is the day I became an auntie to a beautiful little boy 12 years ago, just 6 days before our beautiful angel grew his wings. So tomorrow will be 12 years since Mackenzie and Austin had their first and only fight. Mackenzie was still on the inside and I was holding Austin and he was resting on my tummy Mackenzie kicked him and he didn't like it. Just one of my few memories.