Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I used to wonder

I used to wonder .......
- how did Ashton's Dad go about life with his child growing up close to him and yet so far away.
- how was every second weekend okay with him?
- if there was a pain worse then losing a child?
- if a friend will always be trust worthy.
- how often one person can cry themselves to sleep EVERY night

Now I don't wonder about those things anymore cause I know,
- Ashton's Dad lived life without her in it everyday because he had to ( his own choice I might add)
- There is pain worse then losing a child........being rejected by one who you love so much you would GLADLY claw out your own eyeballs, or tear off your own skin......if only you knew she was safety tucked into her bed in your home. Or have the chance to give her a hug.
-there is no one person you can completely trust in some way they will hurt you so it's better to stay safe and "hide" then dare open up your heart and trust again.
- forever!!

Now I wonder......................
- will it ever hurt less?
- will I ever see that beautiful face again?
- why didn't I cherise the moments spent with her?
- how do "friends" sleep at night, after all the damage they have caused?
- will I ever be able to fix this?
I wonder!

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