big sister bear

tirteen years ago today at 2:54 pm big sister bear made her arrival into the world!!!

This is a very hard story to tell prehaps even harder then baby angel bears story. Here is her story.

I was just 14 when I met big sister bear's Daddy bear, we didn't start a relationship right away, but eventually we did. Now that I have a 13 year old I realize just how young I really was.

I was 16 when we really started our relationship, soon he was my all, my best friend the person I shared everything with. I was just about 17 when I found out we were gonna be parents. I was scared, I had to tell my parents and my Mom had my Dad take me to the walk in clinic for the test.

I remeber sitting in the examination room waiting for the doc to come in he asked if I was indeed pregant would I end the pregancy? I told him no he asked me three timmes each time I said no. I loved her Daddy bear and thought this would be forever!!! The day I found out I told my Mom it was positive she didn't talk to me for 2 hours she locked herself in the bathroom and did not come out.

I don't think my Dad said more then 10 words to me for the whole 9 months. I don't think I can finish this entry, I think this all hurts to much and don't want to relive anymore of this!!!

sleep

Baby bear has always had problems with sleep and after his recent trip to the emergency room he has not been sleeping well again!!

Every night he starts off in his bed then he gets up and comes into our bed, I of course CAN NOT sleep with him in our bed, couple that with working till 12 am, I'm very sleep deprived and I should be doing the laundry, and washing the floors. I'm gonna try to get some of these things done. I wish I had a maid!!!

5 kids

Today is a no school day!!
Today I have 5 kids all day!!
Today I work till 12 am!!!
Tomorrow I may not have hair!!!

work

I work, I have not held a job in 6 years (almost 7), I have worked in that time, in fact I could probably beat most men re- roofing a house, I have down PILES of laundry,washed the floors probably 1,000 times, not to mention bathrooms and washing dishes and picking up toys. But working where I actually leave the house and go somewhere for 8 1/2 hours and then come home again, that I have not done in along time. I have now worked 12 shifts and I am loving it thus far, but it really is knocking me on my butt!!! I'm beat when I get home I just need to sleep but alas the house work is calling. Not to mention my fabric withdrawal, I do not find near enough time to "play" with fabric now, and then there is my blog/face book addiction it just is not helping the fabric cause.

So far today I have started the laundry, cleaned the bathroom and done 2 sinks full of dishes (we ran out of dish soap so they have been stacking up). Now it's time to log off and finish the house work and maybe just maybe today I'll get a fabric fix!!!!

hope

In my last post I sadi we have a great thsnksgiving, finally everyone had something to be thankful for . Well we have EVEN more to be thankful for, my baby bears are gonna be okay, the vitamin B6 IS WORKING!!!! big brother bears oxalates are normal again (normal is under 500 and his are around 350) lil sister bears were at 2000 and are now down to 673 so we will just be upping her from 250 mg of B6 a day to 300 mg. a day!!!! This means we have avoided a transplant for now, we will be seeing the doc every four months and doing 24 hour urines every 3 months for now and then once things are stable and going well we will see her evey 6 months. As for side effects lil sister bear was having VERY upset tummies as she upped her dose of meds, and big brother bear was having nightmares, but now that they have been on the meds for a whille they seem to have stopped!!!!

I feel like I can finally sleep, it has been7 months of worry and nights and sitting up all night crying and begging God to save my babies I just don't think I could ever be "okay" again if another baby left me!!!


MY BABY BEARS WILL BE OKAY!!!!!

God's promise

thankfulness

I think back to tha last few years and I had a thought why not post where I am now, but first you must know that my life has been far from perfect infact I feel like ever step to here has pretty much been a strugle, now I know some of them where my fault. At 17 I had my first baby, that would be my big sister bear and it was hard, expecting a baby at 17 was not something i would EVER choose to do again!! I love big sister bear and she is one of the greater things I've had happen to ne, but if I had my choice I'd have her a few years later!!

At 19 I met my husband and we got engaged, pregant and married in that order. I was 20 when my angel baby bear was born still. Losing him is by far the WORST thing that has ever happened to me and yet I would not go back and not have him, I may not have alot to remember him by but I do have memories and he's my baby!!!

When big brother bear was 3 he had kidney stones, then lil sister bear had kidney stones at 5 and we knew something was VERY wrong.

My Dad recently had both a few mini strokes and a torn shoulder muscle making him unable to work ,thus not get paid for a Very long time, as his insurance provder deicded he was well enough to work and the doc would not give him a clean bill of health.

Then my parents were involved in a MAJOR car accident and we just about lost them both, thankfully they are still here and finally able to work again, and pretty much back to "normal" or maybe we've just gotten used to a new "normal".

We just had thanksgiving and this is the FIRST thanksgiving that each family had something to be thankful for!!!! My family is thankful for an answer to the children's problem, no it was not the answer we wanted but it is an answer and maybe by already knowing we can avoid a liver transplant for now, God will take care of it and if we need the transplant God will be there and we WILL be okay. I'm not saying that, it is not scary I'm just saying that God has always been there before he won't leave us alone now!!!!! We are also VERY thankful for my job, we'll finally not have to worry about money anymore, there will alwyas be food in the fridge and we'll ba able to order hamburger days and hotdog days, these are things that haven't always been in our house there have been to many days when the fridge was empty and me and Daddy bear did not eat so the baby bears could!!! My sister has found a man who is good enough to marry her, he's a wonderful man who will be there for her forever and she's so happy. My brother and sister-in-law have finally been able to do something that they have been wanting for a very long time. My parnets finally came into some money and now things aren't as tight for then either!!!!

Thanksgiving was better this year then it has been in 10 years and we are so thankful!!!! God has brought us through and will be there forever!!! There were lots of happy tears at the dinner table, you know us girls we cry!!! :-)

work

I have not worked in almost 7 years, since I was seven months pregnant with lil sister bear. So now that lil sister bear is in school full time days I decided it was time to get a part time job!!! I talked to Daddy bear about it but he did not want any part of it!!! So I've been talking about it for about 4 months so finally I told him i was gonna apply anyway. A friend told me that the shopper's drug mart was looking for people so I decided to put in an application. I did that on a Friday and Monday the hubby called me I think 3 times to see if they called. So Tuesday i called them and they said they'd let me know early next week. So I waited, then on weds of the next week I decided that if they did not call I'd go to town the next day and put in apps. everywhere. Low and behold they called. I went in for an interview and was hired that same day. I started my job the following Sunday!!!!

I'm so excited, I go to work evenings and weekends when Daddy bear is home with the baby bears to watch them. Not only is it more money, it is a chance to talk to people taller then 3 feet (don't get me wrong I Love my 3 feet tall people, but I need adult conversation to keep my brain from turning to mush)and I love my job so far!!!! We'll see what the future holds for our family now hopefully we're finally through the rough patch!!!!

boys and buttons

Here is a button that he says is like "frank" the button up his nose!!!

buttons and boys!!

It has been a while since I blogged so it's time for an update!!! The children were to have an appointment on October the 2 to see if the B6 is working or not, but it was cancelled at the last minute, and we now will go on October the 16!!

Second I now have a job!!! That's right I am a front cashier at shopper's drug mart, the job is a perfect fit for me, gives me the hours I need, a chance to talk to people who are not 3 feet tall(and I love the ones that are only 3 feet tall,but a chance to have grown up conversation is great)not to mention some more money in our house which is REALLY needed!!!

Now on to the boys and buttons part of this entry!!! Allow me to tell you what my baby bear did this week!!! Sunday was my first ever shift at shoppers, so Daddy bear stayed home with the baby bears and I went to work I got home at 7:30 pm, baby bear was to be sleeping, because he tends to play with lil sister bear we put him in our bed, well instead of going to sleep he was playing in my scrap booking things. At 9:15 ish he came out to tell us that he had put a button up his nose and could not get it out. We had a look and could not see it so it was decided that a trip to the E.R. was in order. I loaded him up and headed to the Selkirk E.R.

In Selkirk they held him down and had a look but could not see the button, so on to children's we went, we arrived at 12:00 am and sat in the waiting room for a short while. Soon we were called to the back and the E.R. doc had a look sure enough there was the button, but it was so far in that he did not want to try to get it because he didn't want to push it in even further. He asked us where we lived and how far from the hospital that was (about 1 1/2 hours) then off he went to call the Ear/nose/throat docs. A little while later the nurse came back to let us know that ENT would be in at 8 am. So we could either go home and be back at 8 or they would put us in an observation room and we could "try" to sleep. That was the choice we went with, so off we went into a room. By the time I got baby bear to sleep I'm guessing it was about2 am. I pulled out the lazy boy a settled in, EVERY time baby bear moved I checked on him, I was worried the button might move and he would chock. At some point I remember thinking I need to remember to move the truck in the am. Well finally around 7:30 I tried to sneak out to use the washroom, but baby bear also woke up. So we went to the washroom and the nurse came to talk to us and tell use that ENT should be there shortly. I told her I needed to move the truck and would take baby bear with me, she offer to have him sit at the nurses station while I moved the truck. I went outside (it was raining) came around the corner and my heart sank NO truck. I went back inside called daddy bear.......
Me: I got the truck towed."
DB: No you didn't
Me: no I'm kidding (dripping with sarcasm)
DB: don't do that to me
Me: I'm not kidding it's gone (then I cry)
DB: really?
Me: please just call Dr.Hook and find it
DB: you just go back to baby bear and I'll take care of the truck (I love him)
Me: okay thankyou!!!

I go back to baby bear, still no ENT we go back to our room to watch tree house and wait around 10:00 the nurse comes in to tell us that ENT will be there around 12:00 and asks if baby bear has had anything to eat? I tell her no and she says she'll find him some cereal and order a lunch tray for him, then remembers baby bear will probably have to be put under in order to retrieve the button so no food no drink. Which means momma bear can not have anything either because that would not be fair. Baby bear knew I had apple juice for him and kept asking for it in fact I had to hide it in Oder to keep him from sneaking it. I explained that they wanted to give him special medicine to make him sleep and food and juice would make him sick but he is only 3 and most of that did not make sense to him!!!

We sat down in the lazy boy together and got cozy and cuddled while watching tree house and tried to snooze.

Finally around 1:00pm ENT got there. My poor baby bear was then wrapped tight so he could not move, 2 docs and 2 nurses then came in and held down baby bear and tried to find the button. They put something on a cotton ball and up his nose to make it go to sleep and then looked. Baby bear hated it, he screamed so hard. I was at his head when the first doc had a look, trying to talk to him and calm him down. She couldn't see it. So they put some more "freezing" in his nose and the second doc had a look, my poor baby bear was screaming so hard that I couldn't take it and burst into tears, and ran from the room ( I didn't want him to see me upset) I went to the bathroom grabbed some toilet paper and tried to compose my self (it didn't work) then headed back into the hallway outside the room. Someone stopped to ask if I was okay, all I could do was nod, he then said "are yo sure" I still only nodded, he then asked if there was something he could do for me, I shook my head. Then he asked what had happened, I pointed towards my baby bear (who was still screaming) then he said ohhhh are they doing something for your child? I nodded again and he said okay and off he went. Shortly there after they were done and I went straight back to baby bear and scooped him up and cuddled him. He was so upset!!!!

They did not find the button, we had x-rays done just to make sure that he did not breath it into him lungs, we think he swallowed it, we were then released to go home and are now keeping an eye on him to make sure it's not still in his nose. So we have to check to see if it comes out the other end, or if there's a reaction in his nose!!!!

So far no button, we do know that it is pink and it's name is Frank!!!

My guess is that he NEVER puts anything up his nose again!!!! I think this was lesson learned!!!