Tuesday, November 11, 2008

my rant for today

I have now been working for 5 weeks, and am now also supervising the evening/close shift, so I've had to learn alot in a few short weeks. The hardest part is the fact that the family has had to adjust to our new normal and some of us are not adjusting well!!!

I work 5pm to 12am, my day starts around 6:30am so by the time I get home and unwound and to bed it is usually VERY late (3:00am) The next day I then have to clean the house, make lunch and dinner, and make sure baby bear stays out of trouble (which is a feat in it's self), in the last few weeks I have had to answer the same question from Daddy bear 3 or 4 times, YES I STILL LOVE YOU AND YES I STILL FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE. I'm just really tired, there it is for the world to see!!!

I am also wondering when they will realize that I am tired and do not want to do the dish the next day, or pick up the wet clothes in the bathroom, put away their laundry, when I already washed,dried and folded it, is it to much to ask that they put it away? I don't think so.

I also feel alot of pressure to maitian a clean house, I do not remember my Mom's house ever being a mess, and my Mother-in-laws house is ALWAYS clean (even when it's dirty) I just don't feel like I measure up and I'm sorry but I'm trying the best I can, I also find I do not have time for myself, I don't remember the last time I used my sewing machine for pleasure, as a matter of fact lil sister bear has 4 pairs of pants that need to be made smaller in the waist and I haven't had time for that much less anything else, not to mention having a shower I have been doing that at night after work because there just is no other time, I can not leave baby bear alone darning the day he'd destroy the place so after work it is, do you think anyone around here has noticed??? Probably not, they are all worried about the next thing Mom will do for them, and Mom's feeling a Little under appreciated at the moment. I'm gonna have me a little pity cry, then I'm gonna do last nights dishes, pick up and wash the floors, burn the garbage and some laundry!!!

To my family I'm sorry and I'm doing the best I can you know how much we need me to work!!!!

1 comment:

Ter said...

((hugs)) I know you're doing the best you can.... that's all you can do!! I feel the same way sometimes, though my circumstances are different but I know how you feel about being overwhelmed.