Monday, November 16, 2009


Yesterday I posted about how I feel, today I feel like I should aplogize for feeling that way, and yet it turely is how I feel. So I will not say sorry, instead I will say that although I do sturrgle to feel like I fet in I do have ALOT to be thankful for. Life has not been easy by any means in my world and most folks know this even though I'd rather hide then have to tell people. It gets to the point where I feel like people will say you have to be making this up, how many horriable things can happen to one family seroiusly, anyho there I go again off on the bad things when we really do have things to be thankful for, infact we are all safe, we are all for the most part healthy (if you don't factor in the kids diease and the stones big brother bear carries around hidden deep within his body) we are healthy right now. Infact we are together, so no matter what happens we are here. When you think about it we really have survived the worst, we have burried a child it really doesn't get any worse then that, so we make trips to the E.R. quite regularly at least they are here for those trips. So the kids drive me mad sometimes, at least I know what their voice sounds like, So the kids get up at the crack of dawn, at least I know what thier eyes look like. You see our baby was stllborn, we never saw his eyes, we never heard his voice. We mearly got a few hours with him, we bathed him, we dressed him and we told him we loved him, then we burried him. It really doesn't get worse, we have already faced the worst...........So bring on the rest we are ready!!!

1 comment:

Ter said...

I hear you. some days I feel like people must think I'm making everything up! I can hardly believe it myself when I tell the story.

A couple years ago, I was personally affected (though not as much as some of the other girls) when we found out that one of the girls we frequently chatted with in our online support group for infant loss, was, in fact, a fraud. I think it shattered our ability to trust other people for a long time. But since then we have all regained our trust (and some of those girls are the ones I met last month on my trip). It is good to know that most people are NOT faking it, no matter how bad it sounds. I'll tell you that whole story some day. Invite yourself over for coffee (or tea!) someday soon. Or we can meet somewhere too. I know money is scarce for both of us but like I said before it doesn't cost much to visit a friend. :)