Tuesday, January 26, 2010

spending time with God

After having a conversation recently about spending time with God, I decided that on my walk to and from work (ten minutes one way) would be a perfect time to spend some time with God as in praying and listening to music and praising God. Obviously I cannot read my bible as I walk, something that I struggle with anyway I'm hoping that this is a start and it will keep my wanting more.

However work is been a slight challenge not that I don't like work I do, I just don't like the things that are happening at work, being ignored all the time (thus making it look like i don't know what I'm doing) other people taking credit for the things that I'm doing and were my ideas to begin with. The things that bother me the most are the bold face lies that are being told about me. I'm just not sure how to handle this situation being the new girl and all. All I know is it is not my job to make other people look good they should being doing that for themselves and it is not my job to run the restaurant by myself, and setting up another employee for failure in front of the boss or demeaning another employee in front of a customer just isn't right!!!

I know it seems like a big complain fest today but I'm feeling not missed by my family too, recently Ashton called me a b**** is that okay? Nope and yup we came down hard. The response my Mom wanted to come rescue Ashton and DID not back me up. I'm so tried if ALWAYS being wrong and it makes me wonder if it's all worth it?

These are all things that I just don't know how to handle and wish I did. In fact it has gotten so bad that when my Mom calls here her only concern is where is Ashton even when I answer the phone then when I saw what about me she says your always sleeping, yup I sleep when Jeff is home, which is usually in the evening can I help it nope I'm working overnights that's what I need to do right now. To bad no one seems to understand, when I invite people over no one comes, I'm the last person to find out things in fact it's so bad that if someone were to move I'd probably find out 6 months later. And yes part of it is my fault I could pick up the phone and call, but I feel like it's a chore for people to have to talk to me, and yes I have been taking my meds!

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